Mud is Mud

更新：2023-11-22

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[00:01.46]Lesson 52
[00:03.42]Mud is mud
[00:11.85]Why did Harry decide to give up his little game?
[00:18.09]My cousin, Harry,
[00:19.57]keeps a large curiously-shaped bottle on permanent display in his study.
[00:25.32]Despite the fact that the bottle is tinted a delicate shade of green,
[00:30.20]an observant visitor would soon notice that it is filled with what looks like a thick, greyish substance.
[00:38.96]If you were to ask Harry what was in the bottle, he would tell you that it contained perfumed mud.
[00:46.91]If you expressed doubt or surprise,
[00:49.42]he would immediately invite you to smell it and then to rub some into your skin.
[00:55.66]The brief experiment would dispel any further doubts she might have.
[01:00.28]The bottle really does contain perfumed mud.
[01:04.55]How Harry came into the possession of this outlandish stuff makes an interesting story which he is fond of relating.
[01:12.92]Furthermore, the acquisition of this bottle cured him of a bad habit he had been developing for years.
[01:20.78]Harry used to consider it a great joke to go into expensive cosmetic shops and make outrageous requests for goods that do not exist.
[01:30.96]He would invent fanciful names on the spot.
[01:34.25]On entering a shop,
[01:35.73]he would ask for a new perfume called 'Scented Shadow' or for 'insoluble bath cubes'.
[01:42.99]If a shop assistant told him she had not heard of it, he would pretend to be considerably put out.
[01:50.03]He loved to be told that one of his imaginary products was temporarily out of stock
[01:56.08]and he would faithfully promise to call again at some future date, but of course he never did.
[02:03.01]How Harry managed to keep a straight face during these performances is quite beyond me.
[02:09.57]Harry does not need to be prompted to explain how he bought his precious bottle of mud.
[02:15.42]One day, he went to an exclusive shop in London and asked for 'Myrolite'.
[02:21.66]The shop assistant looked puzzled and Harry repeated the word, slowly stressing each syllable.
[02:28.30]When the woman shook her head in bewilderment,
[02:31.12]Harry went on to explain that 'myrolite' was a hard, amber-like substance which could be used to remove freckles.
[02:40.70]This explanation evidently conveyed something to the woman who searched shelf after shelf.
[02:47.60]She produced all sorts of weird concoctions, but none of them met with Harry's requirements.
[02:53.94]When Harry put on his act of being mildly annoyed, the assistant promised to order some for him.
[03:01.08]Intoxicated by his success, Harry then asked for perfumed mud.
[03:06.53]He expected the assistant to look at him in blank astonishment.
[03:10.86]However, it was his turn to be surprised, for the woman's eyes immediately lit up
[03:17.05]and she fetched several bottles which she placed on the counter for Harry to inspect.
[03:22.78]For once, Harry had to admit defeat.
[03:25.93]He picked up what seemed to be the smallest bottle and discreetly asked the price.
[03:31.49]He was glad to get away with a mere twenty pounds and he beat a hasty retreat, clutching the precious bottle under his arm.
[03:40.53]From then on, Harry decided that this little game he had invented might prove to be expensive.
[03:47.04]The curious bottle which now adorns the bookcase in his study was his first and last purchase of rare cosmetics.